Oh Me!
I recently went to a support group for children with various different special needs and I realized something! I hate being the mother in the room with one of the oldest children! I still have the illusion of being young and happening. I AM THE COOL, OPEN MINDED AND NOT PRUDISH ONE. I can have the sex talk without stuttering or blushing.
I felt like an alien. As those sweet mothers asked me questions about sign language and augmentative communication devices, I felt so ancient! It is hard to imagine that some of the things these youngsters are just discovering I have already tried so many times and in so many different ways. I can only share my experience with these wonderful or sometimes horrendous methods.
It is painful to be the voice that bursts the bubble of enthusiasm.
I remember when she was little and she needed very gentle hands to introduce her to a lifetime of physical, occupational and speech therapies. I chose a preschool for special needs where I was confident that she would be safe and I was a very frequent visitor and watcher. I involved myself in the PTA and showed up unannounced several times a week to check up on them. I worried and I watched and I kept in constant contact with each person who worked with my Jasmine and I was delusional enough to think I was doing it right or that I was doing enough . . .
It's always easier when you can look to someone with a child older than yours who is dealing with similar issues - you can see what they have done, how their child is doing. I know exactly what you mean about being the one with the oldest kid (and mine's not even 4!). I've been in situations where everyone has a little baby and they look to me for advice and it feels weird.
ReplyDeleteIt does feel weird and I love helping anyone who needs me but I know that when you have a teen you are trying to give them more freedom and independence and when you have a little guy or a first born you can't help but to shelter and protect
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