Monday, April 20, 2009

What are social skills and where do I get them?


The most frequently asked question I have ever heard??
How do I improve my Child's social skills?
In my opinion this is the hardest thing to teach , encourage or explain.
I took every stage in Jasmine’s development one step at a time and always sought professional help! I tortured all my close friends and family for opinions and suggestions for hours. I sometimes complained for days just to hear out loud how this new CRAZY (yes I am !!!) idea of mine sounded to someone normal and sane before I tried anything too absurd to mention. (ha ha that is a lie I have even attempted the absurd and on more than one occasion)
Speech delay= speech therapist, sign language, augmentative communication, prompting, enunciation, singing lessons and even oral mouth massage (don’t ask)
Fine motor delay= occupational therapist , play doh, pegs, Lego, writing , keyboarding , and now guitar lessons( who cares if she will never be Jimi Hendrix)
Physical delay= wheelchair, walker, physical therapist, swimming, horse back riding, Adele suit therapy, massage therapist and now tennis.

So how hard could social skills be?
Well I have come to grips. This is an on going , rip your hair out battle! We have had some great days but others will have you kicking yourself in the butt asking how did she do that and how did I let her get away with it?

Yes I did seek professional help and suggestion . This lead me to various support groups and social skills groups for Jasmine. She loves people so she had no problems attending and had tons of fun. The families were very nice and all had similar goals for their child. All the families wanted their children to behave appropriately in public, small groups, and of course large public forums. I TRULY LIKE AND RESPECT ALL CHILDREN REGARDLESS OF DISABILITY and seem to find a way to communicate and or engage with most of them. BUT for every positive skill she learned (the little monkey can imitate any ones behavior) she came home with half a dozen “oh my god let a black hole swallow me up “ behaviors. So I decided that instead of a group of children teaching each other all of their bad habits. I will look for a positive mature role model.

So this is what I did : At every stage in Jasmine’s development she has been fortunate enough to have a slightly older and much wiser companion to hang out and socialize with. To find these amazing people I contacted local religious groups and schools in our neighborhood. First junior high schools and then when she was older high schools and asked for recommendation of girls older than her that would be willing to volunteer there time (in some cases the schools gives them extra credit for helping) She has had amazing young ladies to positively socialize with and learn some cool expressions from. She now has a brilliant helper for tennis who was recommended by a close friend and she is kind enough to visit her frequently. They keep in touch via email, text and phone. (Rachel thank you !)

She also attends a special needs camp for three weeks in the summer. Can you imagine a place where you are engaged in fun activities, well cared for and all day long, everyday you get to play and socialize. The young people who volunteer their time are amazing. They are kind and compassionate and the type of kids that I want mine to learn from and be like.
Are we there yet? NO WAY but we are a work in progress!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 comments:

  1. For all of my sweet friends who asked
    Jasmine is one in the front right with the green walker

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  2. Esther,
    Keep up the blogging - I am so interested in Jasmine's great progress and your feelings as well. Jasmine is one of the greatest people I have ever known - but then again look at her parents and you will know why. Rememeber, you have taught us all to NEVER GIVE UP and I thank you for everything you have taught me too. I love you and I have been the lucky one to have known you and your beautiful family. Can't wait to see all of you again this summer in California.
    Love, JoAnn

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  3. I just wanted to let you know that I found this blog through the Temple University: Disability Studies blog. It must have been fate that tempted me to click on the link for this blog, because I scroll down the page and what do I see, but a lovely bunk prom picture on the SFAH stage!!! I go to SFAH as well-judging by the girls in the picture I'm guessing Jasmine is in younger girls third session?? I go first session and am in Older Girls. SFAH is an amazing amazing place and it has changed my life so much, I can't even express what it means to me. Maybe one of these days I'll meet Jasmine! Just wanted to let you know.

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  4. thanks for letting me know
    jasmine loves camp so very much
    I saw your blog very cool
    I too hope one day you will both meet and yes she attends third session and this year was an older girl for the first time
    regards esther

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